Irrelevant
by ichigoskullface
Summary: YUKI N\MAIN\Archive\Memory\Kyon\22204 mem "...Irrelevant?"
1. Prologue

Author's Note: Oh _shit,_ I'm back. And you know how I said my next story wasn't going to be based on Haruhi? _I lied_. I'm a loathsome bastard who knows not the value of truth.

Disclaimer: I don't own Haruhi. If I did, you certainly wouldn't like it as much as you do.

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Yuki N\MAIN\Communications\run estlink exe

Processing...

Contacting Main Server...

Done. Establish link...

Done

Link to Main Server established. Input command.

Establish Communication: Data Integration Thought Entity

Opening channel...

Done

Begin Communication (20:20:03)

State intent. (20:20:04)

Upload daily report. Subject "Suzumiya Haruhi". (20:20:05)

Begin. (20:20:06)

Interaction #1 (20:20:07)

Name: Saionji Eri, First Year Student, North High.

Time: 9:03:02

Location: Hallway outside of SOS Brigade Clubroom.

Nature: Direct communication.

Summary: Saionji made an inquiry of this interface regarding directions to the restroom. Interface responded by pointing toward sign further down hallway.

Analysis: Irrelevant.

Accepted. Continue. (20:20:10)

Interaction #2 (20:20:11)

Name: "Taniguchi", "Kunikida", "Kyon"

Time: 15:45:45

Location: SOS Brigade Clubroom, Hallway.

Nature: Observation

Summary: Observed "Taniguchi" and "Kunikida" in hallway from room. Physical observation revealed tightened facial musculature and increased rate of perspiration. In depth analysis indicates presence of substance _Tetrahydrocannabinol_ in both subjects. Concluded that "Taniguchi" and "Kunikida" were experiencing the psychological state: "paranoia".

Observed communication with "Kyon" regarding "Taniguchi" and "Kunikida"'s recent use of _Cannabis Sativa_, the use of which is illegal in Japan. After brief communication, "Taniguchi" and "Kunikida" departed. "Kyon" emoted in a manner that would indicate exasperation.

Analysis: Watch for developments. Possible source of destabilization.

Accepted. Continue. (20:20:13)

Interaction #3 (20:20:14)

Name: "Kyon"

Time: 15:47:45

Location: SOS Brigade Clubroom

Nature: Communication

Summary: Kyon and this interface exchanged greetings.

Analysis: Irrelevant.

Accepted. Request: Omit segments of report with text "Analysis: Irrelevant." Continue. (20:20:16)

Understood. (20:20:17)

Interaction #46 (20:20:18)

Name: "Kyon", Asahina Mikuru

Time 16:35:23

Location: SOS Brigade Clubroom

Nature: Communication

Summary: "Kyon" inquired of this interface the definition of a "googolplex". This interface complied. "Kyon" Then continued to request that this interface attempt to put this number into terms that can be easily understood. Interface entered Autistic Mode in order to devote processing power to the pursuit of this endeavor. After 4 minutes, 12 seconds, and 22 milliseconds, interface was unable to provide an adequate answer. Interface returned to normal operation to inform "Kyon". Found that "Kyon" and Asahina were distressed. "Kyon" stated that he thought he had "broken" this interface. All misunderstandings were resolved.

Analysis: Unable to properly analyze.

Accepted. Continue. (20:20:20)

End report. All further entries irrelevant. (20:20:21)

Accepted. Upload complete. (20:20:22)

Order Update: None.

End Communication. (20:20:22)

Closing channel...

Done

Disconnecting...

Done

YUKI N_

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Yuki Nagato slowly opened her eyes. Having uploaded her daily report to the Data Integration Thought Entity, she made a move to pick up the book on the kotatsu before her. Her fingers touched the spine of the book and stopped.

She remained still for a few moments before closing her eyes again.

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YUKI N\MAIN\Archive\Memory\Kyon\run 22204 mem

"Hey, Nagato..."

Kyon is initiating communication with me. I cannot make out the expression on his face. I directed my attention at him.

"..."

"..."

"...Nothing."

Kyon's eyes narrowed slightly, and his expression tightened somewhat. I am still unable to classify his expression.

/end

YUKI N._

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Once more, Yuki opened her eyes. She removed her hand from the book and placed it in her lap, eyes unfocused. She gave voice to her thoughts

"...Irrelevant?"

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Author's Note: Well, well... looks like I'm at it again. I finally decided to devote my mental faculties while I'm doing the dishes at work to something other then nursing the tight little ball of madness in murder buried deep within my soul.

Once again, I plan on doing this story from Kyon's perspective- I've just wanted to try out something like this for a while, so I decided to put it in the prologue. I hope it was at the very least, interesting. :)

Also, REVIEW. Do it, or I will find you and snake red hot wire coat hangers into ever pore on your skin. Or just not update as quickly, whatever. At least keep in mind that if I get some reviews, I'm more likely to keep interest in this story.

Just so nobody asks, this is _not_ a redo of the sequel to Jealousy. This is a new story entirely.


	2. Chapter 1

Author's Note: And here's CRAPter 1. *giggles like an idiot*

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I would have probably gone my entire life without ever believing in God if it weren't for my daily contact with her. Once, I considered the idea to be as ridiculous as aliens, espers, time-travelers, and Santa Claus…

But now, I have heard the word of God, and she said "Go get me a milk tea, Kyon!"

And that's where I find myself now. Placidly strolling down the hallway: no hurry. After all, class isn't going to start for another 10 minutes or so.

I try to think about something that doesn't involve me being ordered around like some sort of nameless lackey, but I can't really think of anything right now that _doesn't_ involve such treatment. I consider for a moment, all of the people who _did_ try to stand up to her… I etched their names and faces into my memory long ago. You will not be forgotten.

Especially not the lesson learned from them. My god is a vengeful god.

I made it to the drink machine and had a moment of panic when I thought that I didn't have enough money. As it turns out, one of the coins was merely hiding in a corner of my pocket where I couldn't feel it right away.

I put the coins into the machine and browsed the selection.

"Let's see here…cola, coffee, orange juice- Ah, here it is…"

As I lifted the drink out of the machine, I heard someone rush by me on my right. Taniguchi and Kunikida.

I waved, "Yo! What's the hurry?"

Taniguchi and Kunikida both stopped dead in their tracks, going completely rigid. Slowly, Taniguchi turned around (Kunikida was locked in place) and stared at me, wide-eyed.

"I…uh…", he muttered.

"…What's got you so scared? Did you rob somebody?"

He only shook his head vehemently, turned around and bolted down the hallway, Kunikida trailing behind.

Whatever. It's probably best not to get involved in… whatever they're doing.

I headed back to class and opened the door. There was still 5 minutes until class starts.

"Kyon, what took you so long? I was about to sign the papers to have you put to death!"

Haruhi's eyes were narrowed, suspicious. She's like that half the time anyway though, so I didn't pay it any mind.

"Sorry. I got to the machine and though I didn't have enough money."

"Still can't count at _your_ age, Kyon? That's pathetic- I can count all the way to a googolplex!"

Did you make that up?

"I'm sure you can. It was just a simple mistake though. I lost one of the coins in my pocket."

"That isn't much better, Kyon. Losing things that you have on your person… are you sure that you shouldn't be in a… special class?"

Quite sure. I shrugged and sat down in my desk directly in front of her. I closed my eyes and took a moment to relax.

"Kyon! You still haven't answered!"

What, did you actually _mean_ that!?

"No…As far as I know, I'm completely, totally, 100% normal."

I could feel her stare boring into the back of my head. She ended her line of questioning by letting out a short "humph", as she is sometimes wont to do.

I shook my head and stared up at the ceiling. I'm sure an outsider might consider this sort of thing funny, but not me. Dealing with this garbage every day has left me a little bit jaded in that regard.

Sensei came into the classroom, the class rep (who's name I still haven't bothered to remember) went through the motions, and some degree of normalcy was restored… for the time being.

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At the end of the school day, Haruhi left the classroom in the opposite direction of the clubroom with little explanation.

"_Just go on without me, Kyon. I have something to do."_

Of course, I followed her directions. It's not like I would ever just go home after school…

I stopped where I was and considered that for a moment.

"No. Better not."

I came to the clubroom after a couple minutes of walking. I was surprised to find that Taniguchi and Kunikida were there; presumably waiting for me. Taniguchi spoke up first.

"H…Hey Kyon. Can we talk with you for a minute?"

Why are you asking?

"Yeah, go ahead. Why are the two of you so jumpy?"

Taniguchi tried to explain the situation, his eyes darting around to a thousand different places around the hallway.

"Well..you see…Kunikida and I…last night… we…uhh…Don't tell anyone Kyon…we…uhh…-"

I interjected: "Did you kiss?"

"No! No, it wasn't anything like that! I mean…you…can you keep this quiet? We… uh…we…"

He trailed off and stared at the floor.

Suddenly, with uncharacteristic force, Kunikida cut through to the heart of the issue.

"WE SMOKED WEED, KYON! WE SMOKED WEED AND NOW THEY'RE COMING FOR US! WE'RE SCREWE-"

Taniguchi covered Kunikida's mouth with his hand in a desperate attempt to keep him quiet.

"_Shut up! Shut up! Just act natural!"_

Natural?

"…Why are you telling me this?"

"What should we do, Kyon? If they catch us, we're going to be in deep trouble!"

"…Are you high right now?"

"…No."

"Well then that makes it easy. Just don't tell anyone. And if you're so paranoid about getting caught, don't do it again."

Taniguchi nodded fervently.

"Y…yeah… why didn't I think of that?"

Hell if I know. Why _didn't_ you?

"Thanks Kyon, we're going to go lay low for a while."

"Lay- look, I don't think that there's any need-"

And, they're gone. Taniguchi bolted off down the hallway, his hand still clasped over Kunikida's mouth.

I rubbed my temples with my fingers… It's almost too much…

Shaking it off and opened the clubroom door. The only occupant was the seemingly full-time resident, Yuki Nagato.

"Yo, Nagato."

Yuki discreetly nodded at me before returning to her reading.

Now, this is more like it. She's weird, but at least it isn't the kind of weird that gives me a migraine.

I sat down in my usual spot. Deciding to clear my mind and just not think about things for a few minutes.

But of course, that didn't last long.

"_Still can't count at your age, Kyon? That's pathetic- I can count all the way to a googolplex!"_

Damn it...

"Hey, Nagato. What's a googolplex?"

"A googolplex is the number 'one', followed by one googol zeros."

Ugh…

"…And what's a googol?"

"One followed by one hundred zeros."

One… and 100 zeros…a googol of…

"…Can you put that in more… understandable terms? Maybe using a simile or a picture or something?"

Why do I even bother…

"I will attempt to do so."

Nagato placed her book on her lap, setting her hands on top of it in a manner that I can only call lady-like. She stared straight ahead, eyes glazed over.

She remained completely motionless.

I waited for a few seconds before reluctantly getting up, moving to stand in front of her. She made no motion to indicate that she had noticed.

About a minute has passed now.

"…Hey, Nagato, are you okay?"

No response.

"…You can stop now, it really isn't that important."

Oh…shit. Did I… break her? Did her… processor… or something burn out?

Another 30 seconds passed.

I placed my hands on her shoulders and shook her gently.

"Hey… Hey! Nagato! You can stop now!"

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, _oh shit_. I really did it. I broke her.

I heard the door open and turned to see who it was. What should I do if it's-

It isn't. It's Mikuru.

She smiled brightly as she issued her greeting.

"Hi, Kyon-kun. How are you doing today?"

Soon, her smile was replaced by a look of confusion.

"What's going on?"

"I broke Nagato! What should I do!?"

That was a bit more forceful then I intended, but what do you want from me!?

"You… broke her?"

"I asked her a question and she just locked up. She isn't responding to anything!"

Mikuru quickly made her way over to Nagato and I, worry clearly evident on her face.

"Nagato-san… are you okay?"

Of course, there was still no response. Tears welled up in Mikuru's eyes.

"Umm…umm…"

I stared at her, unable to come up with anything else to say. Suddenly, in a panicked voice:

"Control Alt Delete! Control Alt Delete!"

She was waving her hands in wide arcs, trying to catch Nagato's attention in some way. I didn't need to call tech support to know that that wasn't going to work.

I turned to Nagato again, carefully examining her slack facial features. She looked completely normal, if it weren't for the dull, lifeless look in her eyes.

What am I going to do now? What if we can't fix her? Who can we ask? I doubt Koizumi will know what to do either… there isn't any 1-800 number I can call to troubleshoot...

Will the Data Integration Thought Entity reboot her? Will a backup have to be installed? Will she ever be the same again?

These thoughts filled me with abject terror. Had I, inadvertently, _killed_ her? Is that even possible?

I placed my hands on her shoulders again, deaf to Mikuru's frantic shouting that was only now beginning to dissolve into tears.

"…I'm… I'm so sorry Nagato…"

"Why?"

My eyes shot up. She was staring directly at me. Mikuru's crying suddenly stopped.

"…You're okay? I... thought I broke you…"

"You did not."

I continued staring, the relief finally starting to take hold.

"…I was unable to devise an adequate simile to properly convey the meaning of a googolplex. It is impossible for me to use a picture as well, as writing out the number would take up more space then the Universe occupies."

"…Why were you frozen for so long?"

"I was thorough. I made sure that I had exhausted all options before reaching the conclusion that there was no adequate simile."

"…I'd say that 'taking up more space then the Universe occupies' is a… pretty good way of stating how big it is."

"…But it is not an exact measurement."

"It's fine."

"…Understood."

"You're really okay?"

"Yes."

Thank god… I didn't know what I would do if I lost her…

I released her shoulders, only now realizing that I had been holding on to them for that entire exchange.

Mikuru once again burst into tears, hugging Nagato tightly. She was babbling on and on about _something_, probably not all that different then what I was thinking about a moment ago.

I watched the scene, glad that it was just a misunderstanding. Nagato is just too important to me to lose…

"Hey, Nagato…"

She turned her attention to me, and I suddenly found myself unable to speak. I can't even remember what it was I was going to say in the first place.

"…Nothing."

I care about her a lot- I guess this little incident crystallized a lot of vague emotions that I've had floating around in my head for a while.

Nagato is a good friend. I value her company greatly, perhaps more than anyone else. I never really considered that she might somehow be taken away… being what she is and all.

Not that there was actually any danger here…

The door opened quietly, Koizumi finally showing his face.

"Hell-"

"YAHOO!"

Haruhi cut him off with her own greeting. Naturally, he didn't care.

She strode past Koizumi, myself, and the odd scene with Mikuru frantically hugging Nagato and took her usual position.

"Today we're going to-…Wait, something's wrong…"

Finally notice something a little off, Haruhi?

She narrowed her eyes, surveying the room, before finally settling on Mikuru.

Wordlessly, Haruhi walked past us again, making her way to…

…the costume rack.

You've got to be kidding me. I motioned for Koizumi to follow me out of the room. Smiling (like the shit-eating bastard he is), he followed me wordlessly.

Tuning out Mikuru's cries of displeasure, I leaned against the wall and allowed myself to relax.

"What was that about?"

I shook my head.

"Nothing, don't worry about it. It was just a misunderstanding."

He nodded, staring straight ahead at the wall. For a moment I thought he was done, but he continued:

"Are you sure?"

"…You were watching, weren't you?"

He chuckled, offering no other response.

"…I'm sure."

Again he nodded, seemingly satisfied.

A few minutes of silence later, and Mikuru's cries of protest changed into miserable sobs. This was my cue to prepare myself for whatever madness Haruhi had planned for today. I opened the door, resigning myself to whatever fate she had in mind.

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Author's note: I don't really have much to say here. I guess I'll just raise your hope by saying I have months of ideas built up, much like a lake behind a dam, that I plan on incorporating into this story. It's probably going to end up considerably longer than any other story I've written. I promise I'll try not to cruelly dash them (your hopes).

Also, REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW *mouth opens, and out of it issues the tortured wailing of the damned, voices cracking from an eternity spent without hope*


	3. Chapter 2

As odd as it sounds, I guess the SOS Brigade has given me some form of stability. I go to the meetings after school, hang out with my friends (and Koizumi), and engage in club activities, however strange they may be. Standard faire, really. Occasionally, there's that whole "Save the World from a Crazy Teenage Girl!" thing, but it's not like I'm the only one who has to do something unexpected from time to time.

Maybe I'm just crazy. If I were, I guess I'd be okay with it. At least I'm the sanest Crazy in the asylum.

Leaving the classroom, at the end of the day, I idly think about this. Haruhi ran off again, with little explanation. Naturally, she doesn't need one. I might have hung around for a second to have a chat with Taniguchi and Kunikida, but they aren't here. Laying low I guess. I hope they don't hide for so long that they get themselves expelled…

I made it to the clubroom without incident and stepped inside.

Everybody was going about their normal activities, with the notable exception that Haruhi was glaring at the Computer Club President. He seemed kind of annoyed himself.

"So, is that the way you do things Suzumiya-san? You just go back on your word at your convenience?"

Haruhi waved it off, before answering in a strained tone.

"I said she could go over to your clubroom sometimes. Just not now."

"Why not?"

"We have stuff planned for today."

"Like what?"

Haruhi paused and considered this.

"I don't know."

Amazing, Haruhi…

"You don't kn- then you don't have any plans!"

"I planned on doing _something_. I just don't know what. Whatever it is I decide on, I'm not going to let it be jeopardized by your schoolboy crush. "

Burn. The Computer Club president looked like a fish. His mouth opened and closed several times before he simply hung his head in defeat, face a bright shade of red.

"…Whatever."

Nagato turned the page. I only now realize that it took her a little bit longer than usual to read that last one. For most anybody, this would mean nothing. But with Nagato, any deviation is something to take notice of.

Offhand, I'd say she's disappointed. I remember the time when we played Day of Sagitarius III against the Computer Club. She looked like she was actually having fun back then.

Oh well. Haruhi hath spoken. Sorry your dreams of romance went bust, Pres.

I suppressed a chuckle at his misfortune, and immediately felt kind of bad over it.

...Well, that was a bit nasty. Schadenfreude isn't my thing- maybe Haruhi's, but not mine.

I shelved that thought and decided to think about it later. Right now, I have a bored deity to contend with.

Haruhi watched the Computer Club President's back as he left the room. I took my seat, and-like magic- everything was completely normal.

Haruhi stood up in her chair and made an announcement.

"Today we're going to go out hunting for strange occurrences!"

That means she has no idea what to do, so we're going to aimlessly wander around the town until Haruhi gets frustrated and decides to call it a day. Great.

Koizumi nodded, and played the part of 'ass-kisser' like a pro, "That's a wonderful idea, Suzumiya-san!"

Just like the last time we did this, Haruhi decided to draw straws to determine who went with who. I drew a short straw- as did Nagato and Haruhi. The three man team. Looks like I'm not heading out on a mandatory date with anyone this time.

We all headed out to the front gate. Mikuru and Koizumi took the left, Haruhi, Nagato, and I took the right. And just like that, we were out on our stupid little adventure.

I'm surprised to see that Haruhi isn't actually being all that observant. She isn't stopping to examine anything, she's not narrowing her eyes in scrutiny of every passerby- in fact, she looks normal. Happy, even.

Nagato of course, was being Nagato, eyes fixed straight ahead, gait perfectly even as if she were walking on a tight-rope.

Nobody was talking. In an attempt to start up some sort of conversation, I asked if anyone noticed anything.

Haruhi didn't respond. I don't think she's listening. Nagato just shook her head and went back to normal.

So much for that.

Looking at the sun, I realize that it's pretty late. It's going to start getting darker soon, so this little outing is only going to be a couple hours, at most. Haruhi obviously didn't think this through very well.

I went back to my silence and merely enjoyed the walk as best as I could. It's not that bad after all.

Before I knew it, about an hour had passed. I was just thinking about what I was going to do when I got home, when Nagato suddenly stopped and furrowed her eyebrows.

I stopped and turned to her, understandably worried. This is extremely uncharacteristic of her- to show such indiscretion in front of Haruhi… Something is terribly, terribly wrong. I stared expectantly.

Haruhi realized that we had stopped and came back over to us, looking slightly annoyed.

"What's the hold up?"

Nagato didn't answer, she only stared straight ahead. Finally, I spoke.

"Are you okay, Nagato?"

I have to admit, what happened next, filled me with abject terror like I have only felt once or twice before. I wasn't in any physical danger, but Nagato is a constant. When something happens to her, it utterly rips away my sense of security, leaving me feeling horribly vulnerable.

Nagato answered; "I'm fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi…"

She rapidly repeated the first part of the word 'fine', much like a computer when it crashes. Her pupils were dilated so much that it seemed that they would consume her eyes entirely.

"…fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-"

She suddenly stopped, and collapsed. By now, my head, and my heart were racing. Haruhi and I dropped down to her side, propping her head up in my lap. For the first time, I saw Haruhi's expression shift to one of worry.

My terror deepened. Nagato began speaking in that high speed computer language.

Staring straight up at the my face, eyes still wide, her lips moved with unnatural speed, producing syllables the human voice could never hope to enunciate. _And Haruhi watched it happen._

I called out ineffectually, "Nagato!"

Haruhi stared, shocked, completely unsure about what to do.

"Yu-Yuki! What…," she paused and grabbed her hand before continuing,"…hang on!"

This continued on for almost a minute. I wonder what Haruhi was thinking about. It's a good thing that she doesn't have the presence of mind to call an ambulance, considering.

Nagato stopped. For a moment, nothing. And then she blinked a few times and darted her eyes around as if she was searching for threats.

"Nagato! Are you alright?"

She stopped her search and stared up at me.

"…There is a problem."

"Wha-are you going to be okay?"

Suddenly, another voice.

"Oh my, what's going on here?"

Not Haruhi's. It came from down the street, just behind her. There was a familiar figure standing there. I had a glimpse of her face-

…and froze.

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YUKI N.\OS\recovery\backuprec exe

Deleted Data Recovery: 100%

Begin Interface creation…

10%...

YUKI N.\OS\recovery\backuprec exe\cancel

This command is invalid. Changes made to OS file may result in irreparable damage to interface.

34%...

YUKI N.\OS\recovery\backuprec exe\override cancel

This command is invalid. Changes made to OS file may result in irreparable damage to interface.

62%...

YUKI N.\MAIN\Communications\run estlink exe

Contacting Main Server…

Done. Establish Link…

Done

Link to Main Server established. Input command.

Establish Communication: Data Integration Thought Entity\emergency

85%...

Opening channel…

Done

Submit request.

Request emergency OS edit privileges.

96%...

Please wait while your request is processed…

…

…

…

100%. Interface creation complete.

YUKI N.\MAIN\Communications\force end estlink exe

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XXXXXXX

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INTERFACE\MAIN\downloaded\install OS

Installing…

Installation complete.

INTERFACE\MAIN\downloaded\unzip RA zip

Please specify file extraction location.

INTERFACE\MAIN\ARCHIVE

Unzipping…

Done. Configuring settings using ARCHIVE data.

…

…

…

…

…

…

Done.

Ryouko A.\_

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Author's Note: Oh dear…

Review, or I'll go over to your house and break all your stuff. And maul you with a sledgehammer, I dunno.


	4. Chapter 3

Author's Note: His footsteps echo hollowly in the darkness. The wooden floors creak in protest at the unexpected weight- the dust has settled upon them in a thick layer, a testament to the the expanse of time that has passed since last they were disturbed. Among the clutter, there is a certain box, indistinguishable from the many others that populate the attic. This is what he has come for. Or rather, what lies therein. He wipes the dust from it's flaps, taking a moment to watch the particles flit about lazily in the dim light coming through the decrepit wooden ceiling. He opens it gently, as if it's contents would crumble into dust at the slightest touch.

It is a manuscript. At the top, the title is written- "Irrelevant". Smiling in reminiscence, he reads the story for the first time in ages. The one that he began so long ago. It is new to him- he has forgotten much, but slowly, it begins to come back. At last, he reaches the last page and frowns. He stares at the blank pages as if he expected them to somehow sprout words of their own volition. After a short time he reaches into his pocket and removes a pen. Silently, he sets it to the page. He smiles again. He has a job to do.

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A dead girl's saccharine smile dominates my field of vision. The view is surreal- beyond Haruhi's turned head, bathed in the reddish light of the evening is Asakura Ryouko. She stands in the middle of the street, buildings rising up on either side. Nagato, who got to her feet as soon as the other girl had spoken, was staring at her in a manner I can only describe as standoffish. Her arms were limp, though clearly tensed for action at a moments notice.

The whole scene could have been ripped straight out of an American western.

Silence. A cicada chirps. Haruhi recovers her composure.

"Y-Yuki! Sit back down!"

Nagato didn't answer, she only continued staring. Somehow, I get the feeling that Nagato's seizure isn't unrelated to the unannounced, and entirely unexpected, return of the girl who had once tried to kill me.

"Hey, Nagato..."

"I'm fine."

Her response was quick, but knowing Nagato, it's undoubtedly true. I can at least be assured that she isn't in danger.

I follow her gaze down the street to Asakura again. Suddenly I'm not so sure. If a human returns from the dead, you call them a zombie. But if a supernatural being like Asakura returns from the dead, what would you call it? Jesus?

Asakura began walking toward us, radiant smile betraying no ill intent.

Haruhi placed her hand on Nagato's shoulder.

"Yuki, let's go to the hospital now. You can't just ignore something like this!"

"I'm fine." She roundly refused Haruhi's uncharacteristic motherly concern.

"You really should take Suzumiya-san's advice," Asakura came to a stop only a few feet from Nagato, "aren't things like this fairly serious?"

"This is not the first time I have suffered an epileptic seizure. I will go home, take my medication and rest."

Haruhi blinked in surprise.

"Yuki, I had no idea that you have epilepsy! Why didn't you tell me?"

"...I will schedule an appointment with a neurologist as soon as possible."

It's clear that she just wants to get away from Asakura. I still don't quite know what's going on here.

Haruhi looked unconvinced, but turned her attention to Asakura, eyes narrowed.

"What are you doing here anyway? Weren't you in Canada?"

Asakura looked bemused. "Canada?"

Nagato and I didn't say anything. What should I do? Should I remain silent? Should I ask her questions about her "trip"? Will she even play along? After all, her stated objective is to coax a reaction from Haruhi...

I curled my hands into fists.

_This is bad_.

"It was enlightening!"

Huh?

"I had a great time, and I learned a lot! Shall I tell you all about it while we walk Nagato home?"

Nagato pursed her lips slightly.

Haruhi's expression was still somewhat suspicious. She turned back to look at Nagato again before finally relenting with an exacerbated sigh.

"Fine, fine... but you better schedule that appointment, Yuki."

Nagato said nothing, but nodded her ascent reluctantly.

----------------------------------------

Nagato and I lagged behind Haruhi and Asakura, watching them carefully. Slowly, I watched Haruhi's expression shift from suspicion to total disinterest. Not enough aliens, time travelers, and espers, I guess.

Really, Asakura's account of her trip to Canada was masterful. The people, the government, the scenery... personal stories, with exquisite detail...

Of course she's making it up though. She's probably reading directly out of the Thought Entity's equivalent of Wikipedia.

I decide to ask her a question.

"What are you doing back here, Asakura? Didn't you transfer?"

She placed her finger on her chin in a perfect mockery of a "thoughtful expression".

"I was only there for a few months while my father was taking care of business. But now I'm back for good. Canada is nice, but I've got friends here."

She smiled at Nagato and myself meaningfully. A chill went down my spine.

This time, if she were to dissapear, we can't simply write it off as a trip to Canada. Another dissapearance would result in an endless enquiry from Haruhi. But what other alternative is there?

Haruhi wasn't even paying attention. She obviously doesn't care much about the specifics of Asakura's trip, or her return. It's ironic that as soon as the mystery surrounding our class rep's disappearance is solved for her, it is only beginning for me.

Soon enough we arrive at Nagato's appartment. It occurs to me that we never met back up with Koizumi and Asahina-san. I'm sure by now they know something is up, but I'd might as well call anyway.

I took out my cell-phone.

"Haruhi, I'm calling Koizumi to tell him what happened."

Haruhi nodded absently before taking Nagato by the arm and leading her off into the lobby. Nagato protested, or came as close as she could to protesting. It mostly consisted of "I'm fine", and "This is unnecessary". Asakura followed behind them, leaving me alone.

I dialed Koizumi's number and waited. After only one ring, he picked up.

"Yo, Koizumi."

"Hello Kyon. Are you and the others on your way back yet?"

"No. Nagato had a... ahh... seizure."

I couldn't even hear him breathing on the other side of the line.

"...and than Asakura showed up."

More silence.

"...I see. Well, this certainly presents a problem. Does Suzumiya-san suspect anything?"

"I don't think so. Surprisingly enough, she played along. Haruhi got bored of her stories from Canada pretty quickly."

"Hmmm... what does Nagato have to say about it?"

"I don't know. I haven't had a chance to talk with her yet."

"What was Nagato's seizure like?"

"Well... she hitched up on a syllable mid-sentence and just collapsed. From there, she started spouting off that high speed computer gibberish."

Silence, yet again.

"Koizumi?"

"Perhaps Nagato recreated Asakura."

"What? Why would she do something like that?"

"I don't know," his tone suddenly got darker, "but suppose that her...employer...had a change of heart?"

My breath hitched at this possibility. Ah! But...

"The first thing Nagato said when she stopped was 'There is a problem'."

Koizumi considered this.

"Maybe her actions were somehow overridden? It seems unlikely to me that her 'episode' and the reappearance of Asakura are unrelated."

This is true. In fact, I already thought about that earlier. I just can't believe that Nagato would betray me.

"...Nagato is a being of logic, Kyon. If her employer has changed factions..."

"Nagato gave me her word."

He didn't respond. I could almost feel his stern look through the phone.

"...Be careful, Kyon. You never know what is going through the mind of the Data Integration Thought Entity."

"Bye, Koizumi."

I hung up and stuck the phone in my pocket.

Nagato wouldn't betray me. I don't think so at least...

I turned back torward entrance and stepped inside the empty lobby. Empty...

...except for Asakura.

She was sitting in a recliner, smiling bewitchingly at me. I stared back.

We remained like that for nealy a minute before she stood up and walked toward me.

Am I frozen? I can't do anything! If I run, she can stop me. If I fight, it would be like boxing my shadow. If I beg for mercy, she'll just cock her head in curiosity and say, "Mercy? Why would you need that? In order to preserve your life? I simply cannot understand the human desire to survive."

She placed her hand on my shoulder and brought her mouth right up to my ear.

"I'll see you later, Kyon."

An unwanted shiver moves through my body. She removes her hand and walks past me. After not hearing the automatic door open for a few seconds, I slowly turn around.

She isn't there.

I collapsed into a seated position, completely drained.

"Nagato..."

--------------------------------------------

On weak legs, I took the elevator up to Nagato's appartment, and knocked on the door. Haruhi answered quietly.

"Kyon, where have you been? Don't you care about Nagato at all?"

I shrugged and stepped inside. I didn't feel like arguing with her.

Nagato was already asleep, or seemingly so, on a futon at the far side of the room.

"I've already taken care of her. You can go home."

"But..."

"What, do you want to look at her sleeping face, Kyon?"

"What? No!"

Well... a little.

She suddenly took on a more stern tone.

"Shhh! Be quiet!"

"Sorry."

She stopped and stared at me for a moment before sighing.

"Fine, but just for a minute. I'm not going to leave you here alone with her. I'll go when you do."

I nodded. Haruhi waited outside the doorway, while I walked inside Nagato's darkened apartment. She was already looking at me from her position on the futon from across the room.

Well, guess I won't get to catch a glimpse of her sleeping face...

I took a seat next to her and returned her look.

Koizumi's words on my mind, I jumped right into it.

"Nagato... what happened?"

She turned away stared at the ceiling.

"...I don't know."

Dead silence. The barrenness of Nagato's apartment is stifling.

"Nagato, did you recreate Asakura?"

"..."

"Nagato?"

"It would appear so."

You aren't exactly being forthcoming, Nagato...

She says nothing.

I stood up...

...only to feel a light tug.

I looked down and saw Nagato's hand grasping my sleeve.

"..."

Nagato?

"Be careful."

I nodded.

"I will tell you more when I know."

She's staring directly at me. Why did she feel the need to add that? Nagato never says more than is necessary.

I examined her eyes, but I couldn't see much in the darkness.

"Okay. I'll see you later, Nagato."

She layed her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes. I know it's an act for Haruhi but...

Her sleeping face is kind of cute...

"Kyon."

I turned around and saw Haruhi's disapproving face wreathed with light from the hallway, much like a medieval icon's depiction of Christ.

"Let's go."

--------------------------------------------

Author's Note: Holy shit, I know, right!? I'm actually writing again! I know some of you probably hate me and taste bile at the mere mention of my name now, but whatevs, I'm back!

AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.


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